5 Reasons It’s Not Your Fault You’re Not Pregnant

As many of us know, getting pregnant is not always a walk in the park. We often see pregnancy depicted in the media as an easy and sudden process. In reality, it can often seem like anything but that. When challenges arise while trying to get pregnant, it’s easy to look for a million different ways to blame yourself.

“Maybe shedding those ten pounds in January would’ve made a difference.” 

“I wish I’d started drinking raspberry leaf tea sooner.”

“Did those three cigarettes I smoked in college make me infertile?”

At the end of the day, struggles with fertility often stem from factors far beyond our control. Although it can be productive to recognize those things that might support your chances of conception, it’s equally as important to remind yourself why not being pregnant is not your fault. Here are just a few reasons you might want to keep in mind.

1. Experiencing Anovulation 

Anovulation happens when an egg isn’t released from the ovaries during the menstrual cycle. This occurrence is a lot more common than you might think. Anovulation can account for approximately 30% of infertility cases. In fact, 10% of childbearing-age women will experience anovulation at some point in their lives, regardless of whether they’re trying to conceive or not. 

2. Concurrent Health Conditions or Necessary Medical Treatments

Certain health conditions such as kidney disease, autoimmune disorders, and thyroid disease can lead to fertility issues in women. Additionally, essential medical interventions like chemotherapy can affect the ability to conceive conventionally. None of us willingly opt for these health issues or their enduring effects, including any resulting fertility hurdles. If you’re living with these conditions or treatments, seeking additional support when starting a family is commendable – and should be free of shame. 

3. Prioritizing Stability

It’s no secret that many U.S. women are waiting until later in life to have children. Both couples and single parents are making the conscious choice to prioritize stability in their housing, career, and personal lives before introducing a child to the mix. For those who’ve decided they’re now ready to conceive, getting pregnant might feel like an uphill battle. If you currently find yourself in this situation, you’re not alone. 

As fertility naturally declines with age, many choosing to start a family later in life may initially struggle to get pregnant. Women experience a notable decline in both egg quality and quantity, especially after age 35. It’s important to remember that factors such as age and biology are out of your control. Choosing to solidify a stable and secure environment for your future child is an admirable decision towards responsible parentship. 

4. Your Partner Is Struggling With Fertility

Over the past 40 years, male factor infertility has become increasingly prevalent worldwide, with 1 in 20 men experiencing reduced fertility. Because of this, it’s important to recognize that not achieving pregnancy doesn't necessarily imply a problem with your own fertility. Both as women and prospective mothers, it's common to try to shoulder personal responsibility for infertility. However, pregnancy takes more than one person, and it’s valuable to acknowledge the possibility that a partner’s fertility could also be impacting conception – as well as treating them with the same empathy and understanding we'd hope for our own fertility concerns.

5. Not Everyone Gets Pregnant Right Away

Although it’s true that some women may become pregnant soon after deciding to try, that’s not the reality for many others hoping to conceive. For couples in which the woman is under 40 years old, engaging in regular, unprotected sex (every two to three days) for a year typically results in pregnancy for over eight out of ten couples. This likelihood increases to more than nine out of ten couples after two years. Although these rates of success are decent, it’s easy to glance over the fact that these refer to couples who have been trying for an entire year or more. That’s a long time! 

If you've been having frequent, unprotected sex or timing intercourse according to ovulation for several months without success, rest assured, you're in good company! For many women, achieving pregnancy simply requires time, regardless of how much we might wish for immediate results.

Not being pregnant is not your fault. At Donor Egg Bank USA, we’re here to empower you and keep you moving forward, regardless of the factors that might be holding you back (including those unfounded guilty thoughts!). With over a decade of leadership in the frozen donor egg field, we’re here to provide you with the resources and expertise to help guide you on your path toward parenthood. 

Ready to learn more about using frozen donor egg to help grow your family? Just reach out to our qualified team at Donor Egg Bank USA to find out more, including information about our Assured Refund Plan®. Or, if you’re ready to find your ideal donor, start your search here.